(:
Emo post
Friday, September 23, 2011
Some heartfelt thought which I feel that telling anyone alive would be damn awkward...

Y'know, I never thought I was a difficult person to socialize with. It's like when drinking I'm always the one who set the mood up for everyone, and this is even true when on the dance floor. At work, I had supervisors which I can't work with, but after that stupid bias guy left my department, all has been well. Colleagues wise, I have never been on any political side, neither have I argued or quarreled with anyone. Ok all the above statements were trying to emphasize that I don't think I am a difficult person to 相处。But when I am with my group, I feel so alienated. I started to notice this when I was sitting beside this girl in lecture, and beside me there are plenty of spaces but my group member just squeezed past me, ignoring all the seats beside me, and going over to sit with the girl next to me. Of course I was sad, and affected by it. And it was really hard for me to stay where feeling like an alien while they interact so happily together. I also find that we don't have any common topic. (Maybe all this is happening because I closed myself up because I found out that there's a two-faced person in my group).

I concluded that the person "A" is two-faced based on factual evidences. I was compiling the report for a module, and I wasn't very clear on references. I ask A on how to do the referencing (because she appeared to have more knowledge of RMIT referencing styles based on the previous individual assignment), and A told me that she doesn't know. She told me "you just reference in the best way you cam according to the guide first, then we see how". Cant remember the exact wordinh but her response was something along this line lah. So 4 days before submission (I only saw the project she compiled on the day of submission), I finished compiling and showed my group members, and asked them what else they need to edit. A insisted that I pass the project over to her to edit, despite asking her what she want to edit, she wouldn't tell me. Fine. So I passed it to her. For the next two days she was editing things like to put this in appendix or report, table form or non-table form, heading 1.1 change to 1.1.1 etc and stuff like that. When I asked A what else she needs to edit, she said only left a bit and it didn't require my help even though I offered to help her out. On submission day morning she told me that she and 2 others have stayed up till 3am to edit my referencing because it was wrong. How amusing because:
1. I offered my help but she rejected, yet she ask help from the 2 others
2. She didn't want to tell me what needs to be editted and insisted on editing it herself
3. I asked her on how to do the referencing but she said she didn't know
4. She was editing those unimportant stuff and left editing the important stuff to the end
All in all, she made it look like I was incompetent and not serious in my work. Making herself look like the one doing all the work.

Is it because of this, that my group mates are really grouping while I am being alienized?
Or is it because I have kept to myself as I didn't trust them
Or am I just difficult to work with?
lamie
Y 8:58 PM


Status update

moving along...
Alex
Ching.Fang
Derrick
Glenn
Hui.Zin
Ivan's trading
Jun.Rong
Siangy
Teck.Siong
Tommy
Yi.Lynn

i want...
- a tatoo
- naval piercing
- learn dancing
- graduation trip
- japan
- italy
- high-waist shorts/jeans ):
- trim/embroid my eyebrows
- dye & rebond & cut my hair

hello. (:
i'm IRIS! :D

Money is like love. It brings me security and happiness. ^^

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